think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
