Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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