I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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