ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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