Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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