dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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