dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
