I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
