And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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