Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize