I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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