we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
