about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
