You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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