Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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