do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
