Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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