Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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