My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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