I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize