I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
