hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
