your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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