If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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