He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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