HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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