in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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