who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
