susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
