Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
