He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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