You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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