walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize