Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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