this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
