eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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