So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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