I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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