Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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