i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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