She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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