That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
