Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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