Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
