why didn't you poke me back
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
