If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
