she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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