wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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