Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
