I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
