Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
