Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
