Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
