Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
