i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize