And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
