college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
