hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
