I hate all girls vehemently.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
