I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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