I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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